is this what you want?

VIEW ON WEB MY WEBSITE INSTAGRAM RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL Let me reintroduce myself... Hi friends, I'm Christa (they/them) the writer behind is this what you want?, a newsletter that started on Substack as a wishlist type publication, and has expanded to topics pertaining to writing and literature, relationships/relational healing, psychology, healthcare, disability justice, decolonization, pop culture, travel, food and more. If you're intrigued by hot takes and raw missives about the world...

VIEW ON WEB MY WEBSITE INSTAGRAM RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL let's talk about it Hi Reader, I have to address the obvious: ITWYW is no longer on substack. The great migration has begun. I've done this before--I moved to Beehiiv, but I realized that I'd be falling into similar traps. A friend suggested I use Kit (formerly ConvertKit) and I'm enjoying the new customizations, but I hope that you'll be able to come along with me. Given the enshittification of most social media platforms, this felt like...

how to pretend to have your shit together amidst a hellscape Housekeeping + Cool Things— Before we get to this month’s missive, I wanted to share some of the cool things I’ve been up to behind the scenes. This one’s a long post (I got the near email length limit bar up on the screen—another milestone to celebrate for the year! Haven’t received one of these since 2024 lol) so if it gets cut off in your inbox, click through to read on the website. I’m Blood Tree Literature’s new CNF Editor!...

I’m a working writer now? self portrait of the artist in plumbing distress (have mercy!), chicago, 2025 Dear friends, September is the only month where, with the exception of a work trip1, I’m stuck at home. Strangely, I’m fine with this. Half this year, I haven’t been home and my status as Dog Father is suffering because of it. Now that my spouse is traveling for work too, I can re-claim my status as the favorite dog parent. While he’s off serving his tech overlords, I can work on writing...

how to travel while hating your passport note: hi, bitches (friends? i don’t know. i’m feeling provocative, but want to stay friendly and approachable. i promise i mean ‘bitch’ as a term of endearment) i am BACK FROM A CRUISE WITH MY PARENTS AND SPOUSE! it was wild in many ways, and i have a lot of thoughts about it. so many that i’m not writing in proper grammar and syntax (idc, tumblr-era aesthetics and e.e. cummings subversion 5eva) plz forgive me and enjoy xoxo gossip girl oh wait, are...

how i trick my brain into writing essays Real, genuine long-form essays take space and time to ferment. I start an essay with real fervor, and months later, realize I either lost the plot or need to let it sit. Sometimes it's because I haven't quite processed/determined where the piece is going, or because I'm not ready to write the rest of it——I haven't lived out enough of my life to know how some pieces end. This is true of my poetry and fiction too. Most of my stories published in the past...

It is early Spring 2025. I am almost a year out of one of my worst relationships. My uterus is broken, the ketamine no longer hits, and every masc I match with is ugly. This new person I’m seeing appears to be a horrible communicator—something I’ve learned over time, yet somehow tolerate (???)—but their peculiarities continue to pique my interest. So I ask the universe for a sign, an omen. I need a prescription to soothe the aches of unrequited yearning. The next day, I receive an acceptance...

I might be a cynical romantic, but it’s hard to experience awe amidst all the other ugly shit happening in the world. Sitting with the messiness of mortal fallibility is a challenging endeavour. Because I fuck up a lot. But damn! I’m glad I have people in my life who choose to love me, anyway. I’ve been sitting with discomfort because part of my ~healing journey~ means embracing the wide spectrum of emotions instead of avoidance. When people hurt me, I used to be quicker to cutting them off...

Author’s Note- I’ll write more about this later, and probably with more details, information and research— but this week, I finally finished my six-infusion ketamine therapy protocol! Like most information out there, it isn’t a silver bullet, but it did help me get out of this post-surgical funk that I couldn’t seem to shake even after my body felt fine. A fair warning that this is an unpolished and fairly raw account of what the last month and a half or so were like. I talk about trauma and...